Blurred Lines Between Work and Home is Hurting Our Health and Family Relationships Blurred Lines Between Work and Home is Hurting Our Health and Family Relationships Blurred Lines Between Work and Home is Hurting Our Health and Family Relationships Michele Hart Law

Date: April 23, 2022 | Author: Michele Hart

It seems it wasn’t that long ago that we came home from work, changed clothes, and had dinner as a family.  Our workday was done.  We knew that nothing would be expected of us until the next day.   Going back to, let’s say, the 1990s, there wasn’t an easy way for anyone to even reach us after work hours.

And so we actually talked to each other.  We had conversations.  Nowadays, this all sounds so unrealistic.

While the expectation to monitor work emails 24/7 has been increasing steadily, the pandemic shift to remote work has seemingly brought about a cataclysmic change in our work culture where we are now expected to be available 24/7.

A December 2020 study found that nearly 70 percent of professionals who transitioned to remote work now work on the weekends, and 45 percent say they regularly work more hours during the week than they did before.

For me, more and more work emails continue to fly in and out of my inbox 24/7, though now they are coming from the Court.

I’ve been practicing law for almost 30 years.  And up until the pandemic, court hours have been from 8:30 am to 4:30 p.m.  But when judges and court staff began working remotely, court emails started creeping into 5 pm and beyond.  This has only escalated even though judges and court staff are for the most part, back in the courthouses.

After having gotten sucked into the “always-on” mindset, I’ve made a concerted effort to “turn off” after work hours.

But just recently, in one of my divorce cases, emails between the court and the opposing attorney exchanged at 7:30 at night and 7:00 am the next morning resulted in the canceling of a court appearance that was necessary for my client to spend time with his kids.  Had I not emailed the court immediately during business hours, the father and kids would not have gotten to see each other.

This is just one example of how being available 24/7 has come to be the rule rather than the exception.

But the flip side is that while responding to late-night and weekend work emails might win us points professionally, it will cost us points at home.

Overall, blurring the lines between work and home is hurting our health and our family relationships.

I am guilty of this myself.  I cringe when I recall family vacations when my kids were young and I was off on a bench in an amusement park frantically scrolling through emails and returning non-urgent phone calls.  The part that really stings is that my kids remember it.

Feeling the need to check emails and be on 24/7 has absolutely affected my relationship with my family.  I’ve tried justifying it, but we all know better.  When we reach for our phones during dinner, on weekends, and in front of our spouses and kids, it can make them feel unimportant and as if they don’t matter to us.

So, it’s no surprise the need to keep checking our email folder for work issues is hurting our health and our relationships.  And it has become important for me to draw lines of separation between work and home, no matter how difficult it can be because I know it will be worth it.

If we re-prioritize family relationships, we can take back control by setting clear boundaries, communicating them effectively, and sticking to them.  For example, we can choose not to even check emails (yikes!) and set autoresponders after a certain time of day, during our kids’ games or events, or anytime with family.  Whatever you hold sacred in your life.

Because when we reply to emails within minutes of receipt, no matter the time or day of the week, we train everyone to see that we’re always on-call and immediately reachable.

The key is sticking to these boundaries.  I have found it incredibly tough to break the “always on call” habit.  But when I falter, I know I can simply begin again.

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