Five Common Expectations that Create Relationship Conflict Five Common Expectations that Create Relationship Conflict Five Common Expectations that Create Relationship Conflict Michele Hart Law

Date: March 26, 2022 | Author: Michele Hart

Inevitably, we experience conflict in our personal and professional relationships.  But what really causes conflict?  Knowing why conflicts happen in the first place can give us a major leg up in heading them off in our important relationships.

For the most part, conflicts arise when our expectations of others go unmet.  Below are 5  expectations to let go of so we can experience greater peace and enjoyment in our relationships:

1.        Expecting Others to act the way we want.

Let’s face it, it would be much easier if people acted the way we think they should – or if they just acted reasonably, rationally, or logically, as we see it.  But our viewpoints, perceptions, experiences, and the things we feel are important are just not the same as those of others.

Just as we are not in this world to live up to the expectations of others, others are not here to live up to ours.  Instead, we can choose to explore or deepen the relationship by putting ourselves in their shoes.  How might they see things?

The upside to letting go of expectations?  When we allow others to be the way they are, it frees us up to take responsibility for our own happiness.

2.        Expecting them to change.

People for the most part don’t just change simply because we want them to.  It comes back to taking responsibility for what we want to see.  So, if you want the other person to change, model the behavior you want to see first.  Listen to be listened to, respect to be respected, or show affection to receive affection.

3.        Expecting them to like you.

Not everyone will like you.  Others may not respect you.   Instead, cultivate relationships and spend time with those who value you.

4.        Expecting them to respect you more than you respect yourself.

We need to first respect ourselves before expecting others to respect us.  It’s about setting the bar for the behavior we will and won’t accept from others.

5.        Expecting them to know what you’re thinking.

No matter how close we are with someone, they can’t read our minds.  We need to speak up and tell them what we need and want and where we’re coming from.  And just as important is to match these up with what the other person needs.

For example, with a significant other or close friend, you might expect respect or honesty.  If you learn they haven’t been honest, you might remind them how important honesty is to you and that, perhaps, when they weren’t honest, it made you feel that you couldn’t trust them.

When we can let go of these 5 expectations, we allow ourselves to take responsibility for experiencing more peace and enjoyment in our personal and professional relationships.

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