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Parenting roles have come a long way. And for separated and divorced parents, New Jersey law has come to reflect these changing roles.
Back when my parents were divorced in the late 1970s, it was typically the mom’s role as a homemaker to care for the kids and the dad’s role to go off to work. These roles were generally reflected in the custody and parenting time arrangements commonplace back then where the father typically had what was then called “visitation” every other weekend and perhaps a weeknight “dinner” with the kids.
Over the past several decades, however, there’s been a growing trend towards more active involvement of both parents in the care and daily activities of their children, particularly with more two-income families. Father’s roles, specifically, have changed dramatically, and even more so during the pandemic as work from home became commonplace.
As work schedules have become more flexible, many clients are fathers who get the kids onto the bus or off to school in the mornings, prepare meals, take the kids to their activities while and stopping off at the grocery store; they know who their children’s friends are and what the kids are working on in school; they take the kids on weekend day trips and take part in routine bedtimes for their younger children.
And this shift has shown up in the law. New Jersey law declares as public policy “to assure minor children of frequent and continuing contact with both parents after the parents have separated or dissolved their marriage and that it is in the public interest to encourage parents to share the rights and responsibilities of child-rearing in order to effect this policy.”
And the research consistently shows that children benefit when both parents are a part of their lives. Similarly, the law directs the court that whenever the custody of a minor child is at issue, “the rights of both parents shall be equal.”
All this has led to more custody and parenting time arrangements that take a shared parenting approach (which may or may not mean “equal” or 50/50 parenting time for each parent). 50/50 parenting time can work if the parents live in reasonably close proximity to each other and their work schedules allow for it. For specific types of 50/50 parenting time schedules, check out this post.
But for many families, 50/50 parenting time may not be practical or even best for the child, for instance, where the parents live more than an hour apart. In such cases, parents would not be able to get a young child back and forth to school without the child being forced to forego sleep to spend a significantly long distance in the car.
It’s important to carefully consider your child’s needs and each parent’s work and other responsibilities to determine the best custody and parenting time arrangement for your children.
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