How to Take Emotion Out of Your Next Argument How to Take Emotion Out of Your Next Argument How to Take Emotion Out of Your Next Argument Michele Hart Law

Date: January 28, 2022 | Author: Michele Hart

Conflict is inevitable.  Verbal disagreements and arguments can arise whenever we have a clash of differing perspectives fueled by strong emotions.

The way we handle conflict generally defines the quality of our relationships.  And how we choose to respond in any given moment can make or break a relationship.

We can therefore look at conflict as an opportunity to deepen and strengthen our personal and professional relationships.

Conflicts often come down to a sort of tug-of-war with each person trying to convince the other that he or she is wrong.  And it might not be so easy to find our way out. Arguments that drag on can be downright exhausting.

To break the cycle, you might try this basic improv rule:  to say “Yes, and…”  When you say  “Yes, and…,” you accept what the other person says and then you build on it.

This rule can be particularly helpful when we’re in conflict because each of us just wants to feel heard and understood.

So, in your next conflict, when the other person is vehemently trying to convince you why they’re right, you might respond with “Yes and I disagree or I don’t see it that way, and I’m open to finding a solution that works for both of us.”

Another tip is to use the word “and” – italicized here – instead of “but.”  This is because people will generally ignore anything that comes before the word “but.”

Using “Yes and” also removes the need to emotionally react, which will only make things worse.  This allows you to still respect your right to disagree.  And when you show you’re willing to work things out, it helps to strengthen the relationship by building trust.

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