When we think of bullying behavior, we might picture children calling each other names on a playground or in school. Bullying is more widespread than that, however, both among children and adults. When going through a divorce, you might be tempted to bully your soon-to-be ex to make him or her “pay” for hurting you. This can be an extremely costly mistake. Not only can it cost you much money in legal fees, it can cost you self- respect, close relationships and the opportunity to plan for your future.
It is important to realize that bullying exists where there is an absence of compassion for yourself and others. Granted, when going through a divorce, you often feel hurt and angry. You might therefore be tempted to show your spouse that he or she is “wrong” and that you are “right.” You might even believe that it is possible to “win” your divorce case. Therefore, you might choose to hire a divorce attorney who is aggressive and claims to “fight for you.” So you pay your attorney to steamroll your spouse (or his or her attorney) with one nasty letter after another championing your cause and arguing why your position is most certainly “right.” This forces your spouse to defend himself or herself and before you know it, neither one of you is listening (or cares to listen) to the other