If you’re going through divorce, it can be easy to dread the holidays and focus on what you might have lost. You may be tempted to ignore the holidays altogether, especially if your children won’t be with you during the holidays.
But you have other choices. For starters, you can refuse to allow your view of the holidays to be shaped by the media and retailers . They have an interest in commercializing the holidays for profit.
Therefore, instead of looking to just survive the holidays when going through divorce, focus on seeing these 4 opportunities.
- Do right by your kids.
Remember that your children’s experience is largely determined by your attitude. They take their cues from you.
So if your children see you sad and feeling lonely, they are likely to feel guilty and worry about you when with the other parent.
Instead, as difficult as it can be, you might try acting “as if” and sending them off with a bright cheerful acceptance in support of a new experience and routine. This is much more likely to ensure that your children have an enjoyable holiday.
- Enjoy some hard-earned time to yourself.
This can be a very good opportunity to travel or go somewhere you wouldn’t otherwise be able to go.
It can be very difficult for newly separated parents to appreciate being alone. But this can be the ideal time to engage in a favorite sport or activity or try a new one when there’s no one else to appease.
- Get connected.
Be proactive by reaching out to friends and family and casually asking what their plans are. Try sharing that you don’t have plans and accept their invitations to join them. Or you might try a “friends only” Christmas dinner.
Force yourself if you have to. Remember that “fake it til you make it” really is a thing and it works.
Just like our thoughts drive our actions, our actions drive our thoughts. So by forcing yourself to connect with others, you’re likely to feel less lonely and instead strengthen some important relationships.
- Serve others.
Helping others in need is a real mood-boost with an opportunity to make a difference in the world.
You might think about how you can use your natural talents and strengths to give to others this holiday season. Chances are, you will also find yourself appreciating what you have even more.
The holidays go by quickly. So instead of dreading them and just getting through, take advantage of the many opportunities around you. Remember that each day (even during the holidays) is an opportunity to learn and to grow.
Thanks for reading – and please share this post with anyone who would find it helpful.