It is a difficult time for everyone involved when a marriage is coming to an end. Both spouses and their children are about to enter into foreign territory and will have to experience a new set of circumstances that can be extremely stressful. From figuring out new living arrangements to dividing up property and money, emotions can run high, leaving both sides feeling ill prepared for the impending divorce process. That is why it is in your best interest to educate yourself on what to expect in order to tackle this difficult process head on before you begin.
- No One Really “Wins” a Divorce Case
Some people go into the process hoping to “beat” their spouse in court but with experience you learn that there is no clear “winner” when it comes to divorce. Most divorce cases involve a host of issues like division of property, child custody and spousal support but it is rare to see both sides end up with exactly what they want in the end.
A heated divorce battle rarely ends with someone coming out a victor, and more often sees lots of hurt and destruction on both sides. This is just one of the reasons that many people prefer the collaborative divorce process.
- Think Through All Important Decisions
Divorce deals with many different life-changing decisions. From determining if/when you’ll need to sell your beloved family home to figuring out regular parenting time schedules for you and your children, never make decisions during the divorce process on a whim or out of anger. Instead of making quick, impulse decisions do your best to consider all angles and potential consequences of your actions.
- Children Don’t Choose Divorce
In the heat of the moment it’s easy to say things you don’t mean but it is important to remember that you are the ones getting divorced, not your children. Many studies have been conducted over the years that show messy and hateful divorce proceedings have longer-lasting and more damaging effects on the children involved.
- Don’t Believe Everything You Hear from Others
Even though you may have friends and family members that have successfully gone through a divorce it is important to remember that just like marriage, every divorce is different. Sometimes the information you get from a friend may be wrong or misleading. It is best to put your trust in your legal team and leave your well-wishers out of the loop.
- Try to Look at the Bigger Picture
Obsessing over the past or the things that you could have done differently won’t get you very far in the divorce process. This is your opportunity to prepare for the future and trying to make the best out of a difficult situation. This is also a great opportunity to work with your spouse to achieve the best set of results for your family. By not sweating the small stuff you’ll save everyone involved lots of time, energy and money.
- Consider Your Options
Court isn’t really all that it is cracked up to be in television and movies. Sometimes when things aren’t going quickly enough or aren’t looking favorable for one spouse, the idea of terminating negotiations and heading to court may come up. Court proceedings can be very expensive and in most cases, after your time and money is spent you’re left with the uncertainty of how the judge will rule.
While many people think the majority of divorce cases end up in court, there are alternative ways to settle your case. From mediation to collaborative divorce, it is possible to work together with your spouse to end things on a high note and leave your divorce feeling like both parties are better off.