How to Keep Fear from Getting in the Way of What You Want in Your Divorce

The divorce process can be overwhelming and scary because many– if not most – going through it simply don’t know what to expect.  Rather than stay stuck in fear, however, there are certain actions you can take to feel more in control and focus on achieving what matters most to you.

First, decide on your primary goals and list them.  What is most important for you to achieve?  Some examples might include:

  • Do you want your children to live with you?
  • Do you want to have regular parenting time with your children?
  • Do you want to be able to stay in the home for a certain period of time?
  • Do you want to be debt-free?
  • Do you want to be able to obtain education or training to explore career opportunities?

The key is to think affirmatively about what you want to achieve instead of what you are afraid of could happenRemove the word “can’t” from your vocabulary.  It’s not that you “can’t” achieve what you want; it’s more likely that you simply don’t know how

Therefore, you should thoroughly discuss what you want with your attorney.  He or she is in the best position to advise you how likely it is for you to achieve what you want or how you might adjust your expectations.

That is why it is so important to choose an attorney not only with whom you connect but who also works well with people.  If your attorney works well with others, it increases your chances that he or she will be able to successfully negotiate a settlement with your spouse’s attorney that is in your best interests.  It is also more likely to keep you out of court where it would be up to a judge to make the important decisions that significantly impact you and your children.

Most importantly, take care of yourself in order to minimize stress and harmful negative thoughts.  Eat well, exercise, engage in activities that you enjoy, and consult a mental health therapist or coach as needed.  You will need to be at your best throughout the divorce process – physically, mentally, and spiritually – so that you can make the important decisions that are best for you and your children.

As always, feel free to contact me if you have any questions or would like to explore the possibilities for resolving the issues in your divorce.

 

 

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