How to Break Free of Conflict in Divorce and Beyond

I’d like to share a wake-up call I experienced just recently that could help when conflict inevitably arises.  A little over a week ago, I received shocking and upsetting news. My dear friend Wendy had passed away unexpectedly. She was only 48 years old with a husband and a 9 year old son.

During the memorial held for Wendy last week, several loved ones and friends shared anecdotes about her. I was one of many who nodded my head in agreement as Wendy was described as energetic and creative with a keen talent for bringing large groups of friends together with festive parties and gatherings that she hosted on a regular basis.  Her loved ones cried as they described her most of all as a loving mother, wife, daughter, and friend.

One particularly poignant remark from Wendy’s cousin encouraged us to acknowledge that our lives were undeniably impacted in a meaningful and positive way by having known Wendy.

This really can make you stop and realize that the present moment is all we have.  As Eckhart Tolle profoundly pointed out in his best seller The Power of Now, “there was never a time when your life was not now, nor will there ever be”.

Yet we continue to experience conflict whenever we think, feel, and act negatively. Instead of complaining or resenting someone or some circumstance, try this.

Catch yourself when you’re thinking, feeling or acting negatively or compulsively, such as complaining or resenting. Pause. What do you want your loved ones to say about you at your funeral?  Be that person now.

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