3 Great Ways To A Less Stressful Divorce

Three Great Ways To A Less Stressful divorce

Even in the most amicable situation, divorce can be one of the most stressful situations you will ever face. As worry creeps in and stress takes over, even the most mundane of daily tasks can become a struggle as your mind focuses on all the “what if” scenarios. However, it doesn’t have to be that way. You can navigate a divorce feeling at least some sense of confidence and control to overcome worry and achieve a relatively stress-free divorce, keep these tips in mind.

Don’t rush into decisions

Stress can create a sense of urgency and make you feel hurried. Rather than letting stress push you into decisions you aren’t ready for, slow down and take things at your own pace. You might have dated for a long while before getting married and spent a great deal of time planning for marriage. Dissolving your marriage shouldn’t take any less time or planning. Beyond ending your marriage, divorce entails many life-altering decisions, including child-rearing and financial components, none of which should be rushed. Instead, try to separate the emotional and practical aspects of divorce, and deal with each in their own time and space. For the practical matters, assemble a team of competent and trusted advisers, such as a lawyer, financial planner, and accountant. Take the time to meet with each advisor, weight their advice and determine how it applies to your own situation and needs. On the emotional front, consider seeing a therapist as you take the time to heal. On both ends of the spectrum, slowing down, consulting with professionals and proceeding at your own pace can boost your confidence and prevent you from making mistakes that you will regret later.

Celebrate yourself as an individual

During your marriage you may have seen yourself as part of a duo or team. Separating from your spouse and ending that partnership can leave you feeling isolated and alone. To overcome the stress that comes along with such feelings, try to renew your sense of individuality. Aim to replace feelings of anger and grief with a sense of pride in who you are as your own person. Take the time to focus on what you love about yourself. Then, spend time doing things you love, especially if you were not able to enjoy them as often during your marriage. Indulge in a few of your favorite activities and take up a few new ones as well. This is also an excellent time to start a self-improvement project by taking a class, joining a gym, learning a new language, or committing to a healthy lifestyle. Whatever you do, skip the blame-game and squash feelings of self-doubt and stress by reminding yourself that you are an outstanding individual who is worthy of love and respect.

Develop a support system

If divorce means losing a significant personal relationship, it makes sense that the key to overcoming the stress associated with a marital split is to build a robust personal support system. This is not the time to go it alone, so search your pool of friends and your personal networks for the people who you enjoy being around. Your support system is not one-size-fits-all. Instead, you will need people who fill a variety of roles in your life. On an emotional level, you will need friends and family members to listen to you when things seem tough. Divorce can be an emotional roller-coaster, so seek out the people that will hold your hand during the low points and cheer with you during the peaks. While such relationships are important, you will also need friends to provide distractions, from happy hours, weekends away or just a mid-week cup of coffee. Taking your mind off things, even if it’s just for a moment, can refresh your energy and allow you to tackle the next challenge. From a practical standpoint, you will also need a support system to help with day-to-day matters, such as picking the kids up from school or taking your car in for an oil change.

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