Ask any one of your friends or family members who have gone through a divorce how the process went for them and chances are they’ll likely tell you that it wasn’t easy. It is common to make rash decisions in the heat of the moment when tensions are running high. Stalling tactics once the divorce process has started can cause some cases to drag on long enough that they need to go to court to be settled. Divorce is something that involves much more than just 2 people and with that comes a responsibility for both parties to try and resolve their issues without too much strife.
For those going through a divorce, you’ll hear plenty of advice from friends, family members, neighbors and even co-workers. But sometimes, too much information can leave you feeling just as confused as you would without any direction from loved ones. Luckily, after years of working with clients on divorce cases, an experienced attorney can help you sift through endless advice to find information that is actually helpful and productive.
Here are the best pieces of divorce advice that you should heed.
Understand That There is No Clear “Winner”
When it comes down to it, divorce is a difficult process for both spouses and after everything is said and done, one person rarely comes out feeling like a winner. If you are spending too much time focusing on “beating” your spouse during negotiations, chances are your case may be headed for court. Once you have your divorce case brought into litigation, your fate is left in the hands of a judge.
Protect Your Children
Don’t take out your frustrations on your children during the divorce process. Children often have it the hardest during and after a divorce, so do your best to minimize the amount of time you spend talking about the divorce around them. In fact, go out of your way to spend more quality time with them and let them know that they have parents who love them. .
Consider Collaborative Divorce
With a collaborative divorce, you and your spouse each have your own attorney and you get the opportunity to work with a professional team made up of additional professionals, including a divorce coach, and perhaps a child specialist and financial specialist. These professionals are there to help both spouses divide their assets and manage emotional stress in an efficient and cost effective manner. Collaborative divorce can also help you stay out of the courtroom and save money. When you avoid taking your divorce to court you will most likely save on attorney fees , minimizing stress and negative financial consequences on both spouses.
It’s Okay to See a Therapist
Just like when you said your vows, deciding to get a divorce is going to cause a monumental shift in the course of your life. Taking the time to see a therapist is a great way to explore the wide range of emotions you are likely experiencing during this life changing process. Your therapist can give you the tools you need to relax, curb your anger, talk to your children and increase your self-confidence . If you do have children, it may be a good idea to have them see a therapist as well..
Change Your Will
Just because you have gotten a divorce doesn’t necessarily mean the terms of your will are going to automatically change. If after your divorce you want to prevent your ex-spouse from receiving any monies or personal items, you should change your will ASAP. Wills can be rewritten whenever you need to make important changes. In the event that you pass away before your divorce is finalized, your spouse may still be entitled to anything listed on the document so it is very important that you consult with your tax and estate planning attorney when going through a divorce